


Coconuts and Pina Coladas

by Nolite101



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Randomness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28045221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nolite101/pseuds/Nolite101
Summary: Literally, met a funny gal on Omegle who wrote out this whole prompt, and so I promised to write it. And here it is. :) Not beta read, not even proof read. We die as heros of jumping into random fics. :) First chapt. written under an hour, still a little intoxicated off my can of wine from the last chapter of PEJ. :) Enjoy!!
Relationships: Sandy/Haley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Coconuts and Pina Coladas

The numbers just weren’t looking good. Sandy touched her head to her retail desk of The Oasis and sighed. Mr. Qi had clearly been spouting one too many lies when he’d offered her a “Resident Manager” job as a coconut salesman. It should have been the tip off that the bouncer also had the same job, but hindsight was 20/20. She glanced over at the aforementioned man and caught his glare. Sandy rolled her eyes in dismay and dismission. This would surely work out, she had an in with the nearest town where as the bouncer had what? An in with the resident fossil? She put her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh and felt a bit of pride surge into her. This would work out.

“Hey! Bouncy, I’m gonna take my break!” she declared. The bouncer had inevitably taken to pursuing her shop during the long stretches of silence she experienced in her shop. There weren’t many people who entered into the back of Mr. Qi’s casino, or place of business, and so she and the bouncer had long stretches of silent company between them.  _ Thank Yoba, _ she thought, for this Mr. Qi. He really honestly did keep her in business, there weren’t any residential places in Calico Desert anymore. Only recently had she gotten some traffic from the new farmer in Stardew Valley anymore, and the odd customer all the way from Zuzu City. She’d heard that the hot spring had opened up recently in Stardew Valley too so she could only hope that people would come by to look at her wares. Or even become a Coconut Inc. sales rep! Maybe then she could have some downline to gleam some profit from. So far, her and the bouncer had clashed once already when they both realized they’d been swindled somewhat by Mr. Qi. But he, Mr. Qi, had promised they’d meet some amount of fortune. But in reality, Sany thought she may have just had her boredom taken advantage of. 

The bouncer, beset with his ominous sunglasses and fedora, took her place and she walked outside to get some of that fresh, or rather musty, dessert air. The landscape of such a dry place near the literal ocean confounded many, including her, leading to the scent of dry, dead fish clinging to the air. Every moment was such a pleasantry, she thought sarcastically. 

Walking outside, she kicked up two piles of sand as usual and began her quick round. She walked up the lane to wave at the only other merchant in the area, the Desert Trader, but instead of her, she saw the bus. Pam looked, as usual, morose and annoyed with life. Probably considering how much booze she might down tonight. Her and Pam both, honestly. 

“Oy! Pam! How are you?” she asked, sauntering up. Pam shrugged noncommittally. 

“Just… well, you already knew,” she responded.

“Yeah, I really do. So, that farmer of yours go off into the caves again?” she asked, and Pam peeled herself off the side of the bus. 

“Actually, wouldn’t ya know it, it’s Haley who’s here!”

“Haley?” Sandy asked, surprised. She’d known  _ of  _ her from her good friend Emily, but surprisingly she’d never met her. Emily always said she was too wrapped up in her own self interest to come all the way out to Calico Desert.

“Yeah, the one and only. She came to take pictures of like… cactus fruit or something.” 

_ Or coconuts. _ Sandy thought, a glint of deviousness coming over her. Haley could be the perfect one to recruit into this coconut selling. What a great venture for someone who cared so much about themselves! Others would surely see the benefit if she could get the inexplicably popular Haley on board! Sandy rubbed her hands together before putting them right back down, noticing her own devilish appearance, and looked about. 

Sure as shit, there, out passed the fossil was that blonde bimbo she’d only known from letters of Emily’s. That would be the perfect in, too. Just mention that she was a friend of her sister’s and ba-da-bing ba-da-boom. She’d be in. Sandy lifted her nose and walked over with suredness in every step.

As she approached, Haley seemed to pay her no mind really, focused behind the lens of a small camera as she crouched around their main tourist point in the desert. Sandy even had to “ahem” a few times before Haley finally glanced up from the view finder. 

“Oh,” she said, unenthusiastically. 

“Oh,” Sandy agreed with a smile. “Hey! I’m Sandy, and by the looks of you, you might be Emily’s sister- Haley?”

“Um, yeah. I guess you could say that,” she said, peering back into the camera. Sandy twitched by the audacity of this woman’s words. She guessed she could say that she was Emily’s sister?? Why even word it that way?

“Well, you are sisters, right?” Sandy tried again.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” Was all that Haley would offer back, this time not even giving Sandy the time of day. Sandy wanted to groan but held back.

“Yeah, Emily says you are crazy smart. You know, just the other day I was just talking to her about this amazing new business I just started! So exclusive, really. It’s like, all the rage in Zuzu City.” Sandy preened, and just like that Haley turned her true focus to her.

“Are you serious? Zuzu City?” Haley asked, and Sandy beamed. 

“The one and only. You know, coconuts are  _ all _ the rage there. People love it, coconut shells, milk, fibers, bras. You name it.” Haley took a quick glance at Sandy’s chest, and Sandy clasped her hands in front of her in a way to cover her breasts, but really only pushed them together. Whatever. Another selling point if Haley was interested in that. But Haley’s eyes were already back to her own, so maybe not. 

“You’re not wearing a coconut bra,” Haley observed, and Sandy’s arms dropped back down to her sides.

“Well… yeah, why would I? It’s a Zuzu City thing, wouldn’t want to cramp their style all the way in the Calico Desert.”

“Yeah,” Haley agreed, “It is pretty lame here, isn’t it.”

Sandy could have punched her, but held it together. Things were falling too well into place to throw it away now. “So, think you’d wanna become a distributor?” Sandy asked, which to her shock, Haley seemed to mull over. A whole minute passed of seemingly deep contemplation before Haley finally voiced,

“Yeah… I mean maybe. I guess we could meet back up in a couple days for a small business dinner? Surely you have something set up if you want to bring me on board?” Haley asked, and Sandy was taken aback by the sudden show of business know how. This had to be just the little bit this blonde bimbo learned in some intro to business class.

“Uh… yeah. Of course. If you come back here in two days for dinner I’ll… I’ll have a whole show of it!” Sandy said, committing herself to something she wasn’t sure if she’d even be able to keep. Haley smiled up at her from her crouched position and stood up, able to look eye to eye with Sandy. Deep within herself, Sandy wondered what she’d gotten herself into, but held that gaze steadily. “In fact, I look forward to it,” she said, and stuck out her hand. Haley took it.

“Me too,” she said, quirking an eyebrow up. “Absolutely.”


End file.
